As a psychotherapist, I have a particular interest in and passion for helping adults address their personal and relationship concerns and challenges. The resources that I provide are specifically tailored for them: support, insight, information, and guidance that is specifically tailored for them. The process of therapy is a working relationship between us. The outcome of therapy depends upon each of us investing our readiness, willingness, and abilities in this process while we are working together.
During my own personal journey I have discovered the positive value of talking with a professional therapist in individual/personal therapy. I think that as human beings we are better able to deal with the difficulties and challenges in our lives by talking about these concerns with a trusted professional. We need someone who is able to see us for the person that we are and listen to us without judgment or criticism. I see marriage or couples counseling-therapy as the most effective way for couples to have help sorting out their relationship issues and concerns and benefitting from the therapist’s support, insight, information, and guidance in creating a satisfying and meaningful marriage.
For three decades I have had the privileged opportunity to be trusted with the personal stories of men and women who struggle to find their way through their unique personal and relationship challenges. As a primary resource for helping them through their difficult experiences I work with them as they make the kind of changes which will result in an outcome that they truly want. I’m always pleased as clients are surprised that they have benefitted from their therapy in ways that they had not imagined.
My passion is for helping adult clients discover quality experiences that are meaningful, like calmness, compassion, confidence, connectedness, clarity, curiosity, courage, creativity, and playfulness, in both their personal lives and relationships.
I’ve been licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist (an LMFT or an MFT) by the California Board of Behavioral Science for thirty years. I believe that I am the best therapist that I have ever been and look forward to providing my services for your benefit.
I believe that we are able to develop trust with another person as we understand who the person is. One of the essential questions we want answered is: “Is this person trustworthy?” I would like the following information to strengthen your trust in me.
During high school and college, I imagined that most things could be planned out so that my personal life and career might move forward as smoothly as possible. My first real full-time job meant a great deal to me because I fully invested myself into practicing all that I had learned through my education. As it turned out, within a year of working in my profession I faced an unexpected challenge that required me to make a career-altering decision. I left my profession and spent time working in unrelated fields temporarily while searching for another direction. Eventually, I discovered the professional work of a marriage and family therapist (an LMFT) which became my new career passion and path. I discovered that providing personal psychotherapy and couples therapy interested me. With experience this work became deeply satisfying. I liked helping adults work through their personal and relationship concerns and challenges and find how to become more satisfied within themselves and in their relationships. I discovered my new career passion and path.
I was eager to attend evening graduate school classes while working days as an alcohol and drug counselor in an Orange County hospital treatment center. After I graduated with a Master of Science degree in Counseling, I continued working in the treatment hospital as well as working as a therapist-intern providing individual, marriage, and family counseling with a community counseling center. After accumulating the required 3,000 hours of supervised clinical work, and passing the written and oral exams of the state Board of Behavioral Science, I was licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist; License number MFT20547.
During my 36 years as a licensed therapist, I enjoyed being a life-long learner. As with all of the fields of psychology, my particular areas of interest in psychotherapy and marriage therapy, continue evolving. I like the challenge of staying attuned with the developments of both psychotherapy and marriage therapy because this helps me be a more effective therapist.
I married as a young man, naive, inexperienced, and deluded myself about knowing everything about marriage. My arrogance prevented me from learning how to specifically care for my wife. As a husband, I did not do my part. We were good at co-parenting our two children, but not good at creating a happy marriage.
We started and stopped with marriage counseling, but we did not address our core issue which was with emotional distancing. Each of us had our particular attachment style, but did not discover how we kept pushing away each other. We could not change what we did not know.
Near the end of our marriage, perhaps for the first time in many years, I recognized that I was in an emotional crisis. I moved out of our home and into an apartment. My wife and I were not a couple anymore. My children and I were not together in our home. We spent time together during “visits.” This physical separation meant creating an unwanted but necessary single life that was to become permanent. Everything that was familiar to me as a husband and father changed. I felt my emotions deeply: sadness, anger, loneliness, hurt, fear, shame, guilt, to name only several. Everything that was happening in my life had a strong emotional impact on me. I realized that I needed help to weather this crisis. Psychological, emotional help. It was 18 years before this time that I sought the help of a male therapist while I was going through the crisis of making a career altering decision.
This time, as I began therapy with another male therapist I realized that I was vulnerable, emotionally wounded and hurting, and needed a trustworthy and relatable person in my life who could and would walk with me through my time of separation and divorce. I discovered the precious resource my therapist was for me. I experienced the deeply personal benefit of therapy with a male therapist.
As it turned out, all of these experiences have given me a deeper appreciation for and understanding of marriage and marriage therapy. I learned that a happy and meaningful marriage does not happen automatically. Each of us has areas that we can and need to grow. As couples get stuck and are unable to address their relationship issues, asking for help as soon as possible is the best investment in the future of their marriage. Making a marriage successful requires an intentional and ongoing investment into our most significant relationship. Building the kind of marriage that both partners want requires recreating our understanding of our partner and developing our skill for caring whereby both of you are continuing to emotionally connect.
Today, I am grateful for my wife with whom I have been happily married for 29 years. My two children are adults, and married with children. They are important people in our lives. The opportunities to be of service to others as a professional therapist has been meaningful. During my career I have been able to grow personally and professionally with confidence in my ability to provide my best therapy.