From the pier overlooking the Pacific Ocean I snapped a photo of a man in his kayak floating on the water. While standing high above the ocean my wife and I happily watched the surfers on one side of the pier and on the other side dozens of swimmers and this man in his kayak. It appeared that the man deliberately stationed his kayak in a relatively safe place on the ocean that was far enough away from the swimmers as well as a smart distance from the large wood pilings holding up the pier. He didn’t want to crash into the swimmers or the pier. He was waiting for a decent wave to ride his kayak in toward shore.
From my vantage point the water was calm, as smooth as it could be for what seemed like a long time. As I watched this man I imagined that the thing that made his wait worthwhile was a wave that for only a few moments he could joyfully ride toward the shore. I also wondered if he’d eventually paddle further away from the shore toward the deeper waters and bigger waves to meet the kind of waves that he could surf on.
When it comes to our relationships with our wives, we’d like to think that we’re doing great, okay, or not so bad. We like calm waters without much drama. In a two person kayak, with just the two of you, paddling around in the calm waters may be preferred. By paddling further away from shore where the water’s deeper and the waves are neither predictable or manageable, you may find yourselves in a place you don’t want to be in. The waves have decided how they thrash your kayak and crash down upon your wife and you. This strong turbulence threatens your kayak, each of you, and both of you. Simply and pleasantly riding the waves is changed into a life-threatening ordeal.
As men, while paddling in our relationship-kayak with our wives, we tend not to pay attention to the stirring of the unsettling waters that we’re in. We’re reluctant to heed the danger of the threatening waves until they come crashing down and the thrashing drama we’re in is undeniable.
Marriage counseling intends to offer help to couples who are in troubled waters. I’d like to help. Call me at (714) 318-1332.